Hello. I am writing to make a very simple request. While I appreciate your desire to help me with my mountain of laundry I would hope you could move your gathering elsewhere. I am sure my screams of terror and disgust at your sight and my fleeing the room in search of a big stomping sneaker makes your belly’s ache with laughter. However it is my house and I don’t appreciate your big disgusting hairy selves climbing over my unmentionables as they await being washed.
I am sure we can come to some sort of agreement and I hereby give you your eviction notice. I’ll give you until I get my hands on some insecticide or find someone who knows how to make some to vacate the premises. I hope this will be an amicable separation.