Writers Workshop With Mama Kat: A Letter

It’s Writers Workshop Day with Mama Kat so it must be Thursday.  Today I am in the mood to play so here’s the prompt I chose. Head over to Mama Kat’s and see who else is playing along today!
4.) Write a letter.
*I am adding onto the post after reading some of the comments. The first thing I did not mention I suppose that might be significant is that I felt this other blogger and myself had formed a nice quasi friendship also via another social internet medium.  So maybe that’s the reason I felt a bit bothered.  It’s not easy to explain but when you live so far away from what you are used to, and being that perhaps it takes me a bit to get to know people, forming friendly relationships via blogs and whatnot perhaps weighed more in my mind than it should have.  Until you’ve been in the situation it’s hard to understand.

The second point is that this was never originally intended as a blog post or a letter this was something I wrote out several months ago as journal of sorts (I do this when something bothers me or I need clarification in my own mind).  I had never planned to share it but when I sat down this morning looking for something to write about I came across this and decided to share it.  I do not believe in arbitrarily commenting for the sake of a two word comment, to ‘stroke the ego’ rather because of the semi-friendship I thought I had made the lack of comments seemed… strange (for lack of a better word).  I don’t tend to comment if you post three or more times a day, I just don’t have time.  I’ve recently deleted myself from following a few blogs because in truth I wasn’t reading them.  So I don’t look for people to comment just to comment, that really wasn’t the point of sharing this.  Make of it what you will.
Dear Insignificant Blogger,

I stopped following you because I got the feeling you’d prefer that.  I’ve read your words for months, wonderful words I have to say and that I will miss, as there aren’t very many people out there who write like that.  I’ve read and commentated on every post with maybe one exception in the past few months.  You’ve commented exactly once on my blog, which is fine, not everyone I comment to comments back. And vice versa sometimes.

But why are you following me then?  A simple reciprocation follow, I don’t really get that.  I follow because I want to know what a person has to say.  Doesn’t it get annoying to have to scroll through my nearly daily posts to get to the blogs you want to read?  You could have simply un-followed, that wouldn’t have hurt my feelings.  Following and not commenting does.

I felt like I followed your words a bit too carefully, took them too much to heart and thought about them a bit too much.  Your posts often were anything but uplifting but they were so genuine and struck a cord with me because I myself was going through a particularly hard time.  So your truthful words of your own struggles were something I could identify with.

I tended to get a reply to my comment from you within your comment box and I enjoyed hearing you ‘speak’ as it were.  I read comments you left on others blogs, we tend to travel in the same places.

But you never visited my blog a second time so I started to feel like maybe, while you commented back, you really didn’t want me to comment and didn’t care to hear what I was saying. 

Maybe I am overly sensitive it wouldn’t be the first time someone’s said so.  I take this sort of stuff to heart, far more than I should.  If I am going to read a blog, one like yours with the amazing posts, then I’m going to comment. 

So I’m not reading anymore and therefore not commenting.  And I think maybe it’s better all around that way.  I’m not so sucked into caring about the dramas of your life and that’s got to be a good thing considering I don’t even know you.

Wishing you the best,

22 thoughts on “Writers Workshop With Mama Kat: A Letter

  1. I have learned to never take these things personally. If they are reading your stuff, then that means they are interested and intrigued, this is already a very fine compliment! Many of us read so many blogs and can only comment on a fraction of the entries. I know I am often seriously wounded when I have taken a lot of time over a blog entry only to get a total of 0 comments. But it is the same with my playing… I perform hundreds of times every year but get specific compliments only rarely– however as long as people keep coming to the shows I am assuming that means I am not failing completely!!Anyhow I admire your maintenance of blogging energy despite your crushing schedule of home life!

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  2. I think you can't worry about that stuff too much. Life just gets in the way sometimes. There are way too many great blogs out there.I hope you are happier without this blogger in your life.

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  3. Blogging Mama,I'm new at this blogging thing, and don't comment on every blog I read. Am I wrong? Should I feel guilty? Should I just post any comment at all, even if the post has no meaning to me, personally?Naw…say it isn't so!

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  4. This whole subject (following, commenting, reciprocity) really frustrates me.I used to follow people, but found that my following list a) got too long, b) cluttered up my reader – I had everyone in duplicate, and c) made my blogger profile HUGE. So, I deleted the list. I don't publish/promote my followers either, so I figure it's a wash.The commenting thing and specifically comment reciprocity is a difficult topic. As a dad blogger, for whatever reason, a large portion of my readership and commenters are moms. I try to reciprocate at least once, and will add the blog to my reader to see if the content connects with me. There are some dedicated commenters (like 4/5 days a week) who I have in my reader but have maybe commented on 3-4 times total because they write about stuff that I cannot comment on like sewing or crafting or stuff like that.Bottom line: just because someone connects with my content doesn't mean I connect with theirs, and I refuse to leave useless comments like “nice scarf” just to stroke someone else's ego.It may sound harsh or cold, but it's the truth.

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  5. This is interesting.I don't like when I go to someones page a ton of times and leave comments and they never come over.It really bothers me. I just think that is jerky! I don't think they have to comment every day, but sometimes. Everyone likes comments. It is the kind thing to do. Kindness rules in my book!Good luck. And if the friend you have doesn't come over and say hi, make a new blogging friend : ). Goodness knows there are a million to be had, right? : )

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  6. Visiting from Mama Kats…This whole commenting/visiting/reciprocity thing can be difficult. I've decided that I'll only do what I really want to do and not worry about whether someone comments or not. Less pressure. The more “followers” I've gotten, the more pressure I feel to visit all of their blogs and it just can't be done. And I've had people hunt me down and say “Hey … why are you not commenting on my blog anymore?” and I thought “What the hell? You never comment on mine so why should I comment on yours.” That was when I realized I had a problem and just decided not to care so much. For me, if a blog is good and I enjoy it, I'll read it “for free” — no return visits expected. Of course, it is nice but not necessary. Good luck!

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  7. Don't feel like you have to defend your feelings!The whole comment thing can get tricky – and I know that I follow some that I don't really read…but feel guilty about stopping following…especially if they don't have too many followers and it would be obvious if I dropped off the face of the planet.But since your whole letter is geared towards someone you felt was a friend…it just makes the whole situation much stickier.

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  8. Of course everyone likes it if they receive a comment to their post and I try and do so, but sometimes, I just don't have one to leave about their particular post. I know I have more people invited to read my blog but only a few ever leave comments. It's ok. Sniff, sniff. I'll probably live. 🙂

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  9. Oooo I can sooooo relate. I think because 1) we all don't really KNOW each other and 2) we're semi-anonymous, it's hard to “read” people.I'm like you in that sometimes I really don't care if I don't get comments or if someone (who didn't know I was reading their blog in the first place) goes private. But on rare occasions, I take it kind of personally. It's when the “girl” in me comes out.I guess it's a balancing act!

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  10. I totally hear where you're coming from! From a bit different perspective, there's one blog in particular (well, two) and these people never even so much as send a return email to my comments…I'm starting to feel useless.

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  11. I Love to comment, and I love it when people comment on my blog too, I just don't want people to feel they HAVE to come and comment on my blog because I commented on theirs, I guess I have a boring blog! lol

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  12. I hear you on this one. It's hard not to take these things personally especially since our blogs ARE personal, whether they are revealing or not. It's something I am creating and putting out there and I WANT people to respond to it. It's human nature, you know?I struggle with the comment thing too… I am a dedicated commenter yet the reciprocation in the most part just isn't there for me. I marvel at some blogs that quite honestly aren't saying a whole lot yet have these huge readerships! Sometimes I wonder what I am doing wrong but I try to just accept it and enjoy the process instead.Hugs.

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  13. Oh man! I am sorry you got your feelings hurt by this Blogger. It is really annoying when you comment on someone's blog and they never get back to you. I'm no Saint. I try to get back to people who have commented at least within the week and always try to say something thoughtful. As you know, with nap times being the main time for my blogging, and “people” a.k.a. my little citizens refusing to nap it has put me behind. Oi Vey!I hope you feel better getting this off your chest and know you have lots of other bloggy friends who enjoy your posts and tell you so…well, I know I do…eventually. lol {{HUGS}}

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  14. Faux Followers suck!I actually don't formerly follow anyone. I visit who I like and comment on what they wrote. And if someone doesn't “grab” me over a stretch of time, I'll just stop visiting them.I get grief from people for not doing a reciprocal follow on Twitter. But really, I don't even read tweets. It just seems like a glorified chat room to me.

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  15. Ok, I could have totally written this post. I've stopped following/reading several people because while I hung on their every word, they never took the time to come back to my blog to even read what I had to say. I know some people would think that's caddy of me but so be it, I guess I'm needier than most. Seriously though, blogging is a give/take relationship. Sure, I read so many blogs (there are over 100 in my reader) but I also expect/want people to read my stuff… As far as commenting, I've been guilty of that as of late. I spend all of my time reading and commenting and have been falling behind on actually responding to my comments. There are only so many hours in the day. Right on for dropping that blog like a bad habit.

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  16. This is very interesting. I have a blog that I have been visiting (and commenting on) for quite some time now too and rarely receive comments back. I'm ok with that and don't think much about it…however, it does cross my mind once in a while. Perhaps I'm just not appreciated or wanted there. Who knows?I hope things are better without this blogger in your blogland!

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  17. I find that commenting is like networking. I meet more bloggers through comments. Comment also feels like a rating system of sorts. If my post is good, I figure I'll get more comments? Maybe I'm reading into that wrong?

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  18. I follow blogs when they strike a certain chord with me. There are times, like this last month or so, when I just haven't had the time or have been a little down and that leaves me in a position where I am not able to visit everyone. I just hope those people don't think I have left them hanging out in the wind.I'm here, not everyday, but I'm here. 🙂

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