Dear So and So: From Minivan’s to Boots and everything in between

Dear So and So...

It’s time for Dear So and So over at Kat’s place. It’s the time of the week where you can just let it all out and tell people (and things) what you really think. Link up for more fun!

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Dear Sally Minivan,

Cycling Papa put gas in you on September 7th before he went back home to Germany. I finally filled you up again on October 3. You impress me with your gas saving ways. Though what does it say that we never go farther than three miles from our house…

Your most grateful driver,

Loves to turn up the music

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Dear Aussie and Indiana Mom at the Bustop,


I know what you are thinking. Just for the record the older man with me at the bustop this week is NOT my husband. He’s my father. Thirty years would be a bit much don’t you think?

Much love,
30 Something Mom

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Dear Trim Paint Guys,

You were supposed to be here at 10 on Tuesday. I know you probably didn’t know this but my parents were flying in that afternoon and I had a house to clean, I still needed to bath myself and the small child who lives with me and I had to buy a weeks worth of food. All by 3:30. Since I had no idea when between 10-2 you would be showing up I wasn’t really ‘cool’ with not being here when you arrived so I waited. And waited. And waited some more. Thanks for not stressing me out about when you were going to show up.

I should have known the answer would be 1:58.

Many thanks and kind regards,

Renter of House from Hell

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Dear Boots of the World,

Why do you hate me? Why can’t you just freakin’ fit correctly? Better yet why does every brand size 8 fit differently? Can’t you people get together and have a universal size or something?

It was funny the first three times I returned a different pair, now it’s just pissing me off. The guy at UPS store is giving me “the look” everytime I bring in another return.

Your new BFF,

Boot Lady

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Dear Mom,

I know you were just being funny but even jokingly suggesting that Cycling Papa and I hit a hotel on the way home from the airport kind of freaked me out. Mmm K? I doubt he would object seeing as until you leave on Monday Thor will be shacked up in our bedroom and nothing more than platonic affection will be taking place.

Thanks for thinking of me though. But until I say otherwise – we don’t have sex okay? Just like you and dad don’t either.

Your loving and affectionate daughter,

Andrea
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If you’d like to see some more Dear So and So letters then you really need to see Kat at 3 Bedroom Bungalow. It’s a guaranteed* good time.

*I may have used the word guarantee but no reimbursement if you don’t is implied or stated. If you don’t like it, suck it.

22 thoughts on “Dear So and So: From Minivan’s to Boots and everything in between

  1. Dear Andrea,”between 10 and 2″ means that we monitor the gas and water infeeds to your house, and if we see a spike in gas and water, we know you're taking a shower and will arrive posthaste. If no such spike occurs, we arrive at 2pm.Hugs and Anxiety,Your General Service Staff

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  2. OMG! I swear I just spit my cereal out all over. The thing about mom is hilarious! Sci fi dad- so THAT's how they do it! It seems soooo true this is the way it always goes. lol

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  3. Love it! I hope your mom gets the hint! Duh! She's a mom, she should know.I wish I could play along today cuz I've got a lot to say. Surprise, surprise.But Homecoming has taken over my life. I know, it's not my homecoming, but people keep asking for money and rides and candy and new clothes and stuff.

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  4. Anytime I make an appointment, between ten and two usually means they will show up whenever I'm gone picking up the kids from school, otherwise I should expect them at 2:30.I once caught the UPS guy who was supposed to be there for a pick up between 4 and 6, attempting to leave our house at 3:58 just as I pulled up. WTF? Moms should never talk to their daughters about their sex lives. Ever. Ew.

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  5. Isn't there something totally weird about your parents THINKING about you having sex? I get the shudders thinking about it too! Though props to your mom for being kinda hip. :)Happy Friday!

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  6. I hate waiting for those appointments! They never show up when they say and everybody knows it. The whole mom telling you to get a hotel room would creep me out too. Ewwwwww!

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  7. I have never appreciated a minivan so much I am now. And I can tell you from an insider's perspective waiting to have house warranty issues taken care is 20x worse than waiting for the cable guy to show up. Funny how the bus stop can be like high school for adults.

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  8. Totally right! Waiting for people to show up at the house is stressful and they show up at the least convenient time like right before I have to leave, then its like you have to go pick up your sons? No problem we'll reschedule in 7-10 days.

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  9. Those were very funnyYes, I understand about boots not fittingand people who say they'll be there between 10 and 2 –of course it will be 1:59and ………sex…come on now Andrea

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  10. OK, so I was out with my brother and kids today and I kept trying to make it obvious that my brother was their uncle and not their dad to strangers by saying “you better listen to Uncle Andy.” yadda yadda the whole day cause I didn't want people to think the two people who look remarkably alike made one kid who looks remarkably like the parents…and the other kid was of the milkman. Yes, I am neurotic.

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