If you’ve read here for any length of time, you’ll know I don’t tell bathroom stories. That’s not my thing. But today I just can’t help talking about bathrooms and a certain four year old princess named Chick. Sunday during our trek back from New York we stopped at a rather nice restaurant (actually by accident, we went in the wrong door. Instead of the Italian pizza place we ended up at 3rd West, which was excellent.)
Of course after hours in the car, we all needed to use the facilities. Since Chick is glued to my hip these days we ventured into the Ladies Bathroom together. The conversation went something like this…
Me: Chick, do you really need to go potty?
Chick: Yes, mommy (fiddles with shorts, shirt, hair etc.)
Me: Okay, well, hurry cause mommy has to go too.
Chick: Mommy pee-pee?
Me: Yes, mommy needs to pee-pee very badly. (an entire bottle of Coke and a coffee, may perhaps have been a bit ambitious for a car ride.) So hurry please!
Chick: Okay mommy. (silence, no pee, no nothing)
Me: Do you really need to go or can mommy just go really, really quick?
Chick: Okay, mommy go.
Removal of child from potty. Switch positions. Sweet mercy never again will I drink so much and get in a car. Bathroom door opens and the stall next to us is occupied.
Chick: Mommy, you make pee-pee!
Me: Yes, Chick, shhh!
Chick (top of her lungs which are quite good btw): Mommy make lots and lots o’pee-pee! (giggle giggle, fade to red faced embarrassment as laughter erupts from next stall)
Needless to say I waited until the other woman left before emerging. Seriously! Instead of teaching preschoolers to count and color in the lines they need to teach them bathroom etiquette! Something along the lines of not embarrassing the crap out of their mothers when all they really wanted to do was pee.
What’s your most horrifying experience in a bathroom with a child? Please tell me someone else has a child who likes to announce what they are doing as they are doing it!