In the middle of the night, this is what I think

Of late I've found my creativity is lacking. The freelance writing I've found, which is little, offers no value. The subject matter is of little consequence and my name isn't even a part what I've written. It suits me fine, I'd much rather not be linked to five hundred words about car insurance.

The second site that was recommended to me is more of the same, albeit at a slightly higher price. I have yet to 'order' a topic to write about. It doesn't interest me, even though I was initially excited.

The problem is, I don't want to merely regurgitate facts, I want to document an experience.

I wonder if this attitude stems from simply being a person who hungers to be more meaningful in what they write. Or is that I really just can't gather the energy to be bothered?

If I was smart, I'd take my chances and write the not even remotely interesting article, pocket my measly $15 and be on to the next one. But something stops me. Pride? Quite possible I suppose.

I've always believed if you're going to do something you should do it well. I would like to make that be something enjoyable. Possibly even something that counts.

Have you done anything worth enjoying lately?

I'm still waiting…

14 thoughts on “In the middle of the night, this is what I think

  1. Sounds like you need what Julia Cameron calls “refilling the well.” You need down time–especially when you give your creative projects your all. For me reading other people's books–especially fun, light ones–helps a lot. So does time totally away from words–going out to listen to live music. And I knew an absolutely brilliant poet who used to watch old episodes of Law and Order when he was burned out–he said it gave him the illusion of order in the Universe. I think it happens to us all. Just step away from the computer…

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  2. I knew a friend in a similar situation. She ended up taking the money b/c it paid the bills but she absolutely grew to hate what she did and she lost all joy for writing, which was her passion.What I do lately, is take my toddler to the playground. The unhindered joy takes me back to being a kid and it kicks my creativity back in.

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  3. I have been enjoying singing in the choir I joined. Its something I am doing for ME and I am loving it!I agree with Anne, if you don't need the money to pay the bills, then don't do it. You will end up hating something you are passionate about. Take some time to “refill the well”. 🙂

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  4. As someone who writes for a living, I can definitely relate. I found out the hard way long ago that when you write for someone else, your creativity is usually at a minimum. That's because you have to follow their standards, guidelines and tone. How creative can you be then? If you truly want to be creative and answer to no one, write a book. :)If you want to talk more about this, email me.

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  5. Anne – I like that idea. refilling the well. I might actually get to writers group next week…I haven't been in two months. I am all about music lately that I'm pretty sure I've been cut off of iTunes. :)SciFi – No NLCS isn't helping. Dang Phillies are looking very sad. They need to get it together, this is the last shot!gopopgo – Firts – Thanks for stopping by Twitter friend 🙂 The playground sounds like a great idea. I could go for running around like a kid for awhile to get back into my creative side.Amy – I think you definitely need time for you lady! With all you have going on, sing your heart out.Robin – I have several written, one of which may actually be good enough to publish… If I could get someone to do it 🙂 Captain (Oh My Captain) – Sucking my will to live…no, that's my kids, ;)Gina – You are the queen of family activities. I don't know how you do it!

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  6. I write and write and write and write. And in between I pull up old posts and run them again, but there is a method to my madness and it seems to be working.For me it really about training myself to write whenever and wherever I can or have to.

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  7. Oh my gosh, I lub reading peoples late night thoughts. I totally get this post. To my very core. I can't write about something unless I want to write about it. It drives my hub crazy, but it's such a chore when I'm not into it. It's such a joy when I am. High Five sister. Hey, good luck at your race next weekend. Are you ready? Hey, I'm trying to win a job as the Good Mood Blogger. But I have to voted. Will you vote for me? http://www.sam-e.com/job/entries/506 I really want this gig so gosh darn bad. But I got off to a late start so I'm way behind. I need to land in the top 20 to make it to the next phase. You can vote every day, once a day, until Nov 10th. If you feel so inclined (which of course you do.) 😉 Ly

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