I might be just this side of insane

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View from home in Seattle

I don’t know what it is but every time I finally pull up the computer to write something (after having written it all out in my head for days), I go pfft, well, that’s stupid, no one would want to read nonsense. Where have the days gone when that was actually the point? Random Tuesday Thoughts. Back when blogging was fun, and not everyone was a Blogger (that’s a profession now. Are you kidding me?? Journalist: yes. Blogger: um…show me the college degree that says BS in Blogging).

I’m in a mood. I’ve been sick with a cough for 30 days now, had a fever for 5 of the last 6 days, and haven’t slept more than four hours in the three days. Oh, and we’re supposed to be going to Dublin tomorrow for the weekend. Which means instead of attempting to rest around the dog’s non-stop nonsense, delivery’s, and the noise of four house renovations on my street, I’m doing laundry all day, and have now really, really realized my first born baby’s birthday is Monday and I haven’t bought him a gift yet. Or a card. Or figured out where to procure a chocolate cake, and ingredients to make him his favorite homemade mac n’cheese with American bacon. (and yes, there’s a BIG difference between the British rashers they call bacon and real bacon.)

I guess you could also say I’m missing Seattle very much this week. When I’m ill, I just want to be at home, which for the first time really is Seattle. I never thought I’d say that despite being actually raised in the state itself (300 miles from Seattle though), it feels like home. We have never moved back to someplace we used to live. And not only to the place but back to our house? That’s about as awesome as it gets for me because we had only been in our house a year before we moved to London.  Normally I’m ready to pack (or let’s be realistic, let the movers pack) and find the next adventure.

Hold on because I think I may just be ready to stop. And stay somewhere. Until my kids go away to college anyway. Then the husband and I are building the dream house in the trees with the lake/ocean/river view and settling into the empty nest lifestyle. 9 more years to go….

Anyway, my point being, I know very well what American drugs to go buy at Bartells that won’t make me loopy, that my cup-de-sac is very quiet minus the occasional birdsong, that there is plush soft carpet underfoot, and a grass filled backyard to chuck the dog into when need be. In short, I just miss home this week. Which is a bit different when I last wrote about missing home back here. My diary is filled with art exhibits, AWC events, local ladies stuff (which I like to term Bus Stop Parent Stuff or I kind of like saying Ladies Who Lunch – but then that does leave out the one dad in the group). That makes me very happy because Seattle definitely doesn’t have those things. I spent three years hardly knowing anyone and after 7 months, I think I’m doing fine here in that department {expat life makes you find people to mesh with pretty quickly}.

While writing all this, about a paragraph ago I paused and spent ten minutes texting with the Husband, and you know I feel a bit better already. He’s been away this week but he generally knows how to say something that makes me either roll my eyes or laugh {husbands are good like that}.

So I’ll end on a good note. We are 7 months into this 24 months adventure, and I think we are pretty damn lucky to be having it at all. My cousin and his wife (and their insanely adorable baby) just boarded a plane from Seattle yesterday, to start their own adventure in the expat world. I remember the first time we did that. That excitement, that trepidation, that ‘we are totally insane’ feeling. Yes, it’s insane, and there are days where it feels very un-worth all the struggle, but isn’t everyone just a little bit this side of insane.

At least I’m doing in a city with kick-ass museums.

3 thoughts on “I might be just this side of insane

  1. Yes! I could’ve written your first paragraph. I do the exact same thing, write in my head and not on my blog. I feel like I don’t have anything fun to write and I miss the blogs and bloggers that have stopped.

    I think you need some antibiotics. You’ve been sick forever and now a fever? Hope you feel better for this weekend.

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  2. I think you are allowed to have moments (weeks) of homesickness. Especially when you are sick and vulnerable. Rest and chicken noodle soup (or the English equivalent!) and you’ll be good as new in no time.

    I can’t wait to see pictures of Dublin!

    Be well my friend!

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