Things you know

It is inevitable in life that there are things you know. For example:

  • The moment you learn how to use the new operating system on your phone/computer/car gps, they will change it. Fact.
  • The cinnamon roll that looked excellent in the bakery, will be dry and tasteless once you get it home. And you will have just lost £2.90, and your appetite. Fact.
  • You can try to give up social media. But you never will. Fact.
  • The clothes you buy for your daughter, she will like, but they will not fit, so you’ll have to return them anyway.
  • The master bathroom of your house (which is 4,781 miles away) will inevitably spring a leak into your downstairs living room ceiling. Your tenants will call the plumber, who can’t find the leak. Which means he doesn’t open the ceiling {good}, but how much water/leak will collect before it’s noticeable that whatever was leaking is still leaking? {bad}
  • Mold. See item above. If there’s one thing I like to be paranoid about, it’s mold! And it’s Seattle for crying out old, if there’s no mold, it’s not Seattle.
  • You’ll use the Notes function on your phone. Weeks later when you go back to look at your notes, you’ll have no idea what most of them actually mean. Fact. {and maybe we shouldn’t actually try to understand what the first one means}

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  • The moment you put a name to the luscious smell that permeates from the bread place {smells like American stuffing} it will no longer appear. I miss my 7:30 am walk through the ‘stuffing zone’.
  • You will have an entire year to decide what kind of car you’d like to buy when you return to the US next year. And you are stymied by choice {or lack of choice}. You can not decide on SUV or sedan. Station wagon or not. Hybrid or not. Deathstick ugly {but hybrid} or not. You’ve even made a spreadsheet to extol the virtues of each car based on length, MPG, space, safety, options and price. And you’re still no closer to figuring it out (and you only have 7 months left to decide!) {and yes I am a car geek, the thing I was most upset about during my trip to Seattle was that I flew home a week before the International Car Show. If I’d know before I left London, I would have waited a week. Car shows are the things I’m weirdly addicted to.}
  • You completely hate waiting for people to make decisions that effect you. You regret ever having offered to wait for them to make up their mind whether they want to join you or not. You just want to sign up and be done with it and move on with your life.
  • The dog will get just sick enough for you to worry, so you take her to the vet, who will say nothing is really wrong, and you end up with a £80 bill and a wasted morning.
  • The day after the vet visit, she will get sick again while you were blissfully sleeping, and you have to wonder if she’s just screwing with you because the vet said she’s not allowed any peanut butter or treats for a week and she’s just getting her revenge.
  • It is impossible to pick a blog name {as you may have noticed}. Everything you come up with that could express the many varied (random) things you talk about, has already been taken. Or is just stupid. Or doesn’t make sense to anyone but you.
  • I love the poem ‘Heavenly Grass’ by Tennessee Williams. I don’t care that I first heard it on my then-toddlers Baby Einstein dvd. It’s wonderful.

So those are the things I know. What do you know this week?

2 thoughts on “Things you know

  1. Pingback: Things I don’t know | vineology

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